On this big and tragic anniversary for the USA, I find myself unable to come up with any original thoughts amidst the current media deluge on the subject. When I think back, I remember sadness about the lives lost, but more anger at the country's desire to take more innocent lives in return. Since I've always written -- kept journals as long as I can remember -- I thought I'd go back to the 24 pages I penned 10 years ago today, and see what I was really thinking at the time.
On 8/19/01 I moved from the outskirts of Vancouver, British Columbia, and settled back into the giant suburb that is Vancouver, Washington. The trip across the border had especially harsh security, and they nearly didn't let this US citizen back into the country. On 9/11, I was freshly married, still getting settled into the new place, looking for a job befitting my recent graduate degree, awoken by the phone before 7am local time, and sitting home alone watching television and writing intermittently for the entire day. It was from this context that the following excerpts come... copied exactly as I wrote them at the time.
9/11/01
"A day that will live in infamy..."
Sigh. I was trying to sleep this morning and keep being woken up by people calling with updates on all this plane crash crap.... My mom called and said "Welcome back to America."
....There's a sudden assumption that it must be someone Middle Eastern. The government knows that's who will be blamed in anything like this. The Palestinians earlier blamed for the attack claimed NO responsibility.... In addition, they keep going on about how intelligence knew this kind of attack would be coming....
I don't know, but it all just seems too convenient. The only goal this week in DC was to fix the economy -- well, look what's happening now, step one to a war that'll boost the economy. I need to get the hell out of Dodge... AGAIN. That's why I hate this place....
This is all a bit surreal. It's more like a movie or a fake or something. I saw the second tower of the WTC collapse. Peter Jennings could barely keep it together as that was happening. And now another plane crash.
What gets me is all the poor innocents being killed in all this. The pawns in the pointless international penis-length competition. The people doing their jobs or trying to go on vacation or visit someone. Even worse, the rescue workers trying to help them out who've now lost their lives as well....
The Defense Department types are already talking about how even the biggest terrorist organizations couldn't pull this off, so it must have been a government. They're the only ones who could do it. And the FBI guy just said a "massive retaliation" would be necessary. Why? Because that's how they want it. No good reason.
It's all playing out like I figured. They'll now keep talking about governments, who's responsible, how we need to retaliate, all day. They'll do all they can to use the media to get the populace behind them. That'll boost popularity when they go to war, rather than getting Dubya in trouble....
The news coverage has now spiraled into a bunch of reactionaries giving their views. Everyone wants to blame someone and go kick their ass for it.
Dubya called it an attack against freedom. Since freedom must be defended, he swore that the US will find whoever did this, "hunt them down" and "punish" them. All of these people keep working harder and harder to make us want revenge.
The only single voice of reason has been one senator (didn't catch his name) who said that this wasn't a government or a huge group of millions of people, just a small group with lots of funding and good organization, so don't go bombing some country over it....
It's now late afternoon on this coast and nothing more has happened since this morning, but news coverage continues on EVERY station. Nothing but recaps and windbags, but it's still going.... I'm now watching the BBC World News coverage, just for a change. I'm tired of everyone trying to convince me that it's ok for the US to go blow shit up....
Since the communication lines are supposed to remain open, I can't use the phone or computer to do anything I need to do today. So I just put on some music and started reading instead. Then Chris came home for a few minutes and we had our little bitch-fest. After that I felt better....
It was just a weird day.... I should probably stop writing and start thinking about going to bed. I'm not tired, but I know I will be tomorrow if I don't get to bed soon.... The end of a long, strange day.
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