Oslo

Well, if Amsterdam was the most crazy-busy place I've ever seen, Oslo is the most crazy-CRAZY. It might have something to do with my hotel being in a vaguely sketchy part of town, but so far everyone seems totally NUTS. In order to turn the lights on in my hotel room, I have to insert the key card in a special slot. Without it, no power to the room. Sounds like a good way to forget the key and lock myself out.

Oslo's not very English-friendly either. Often I see signs in 2 or 3 languages, but none of them are English. I guess that's what I get for assuming Imperialism would save me, no matter where I go in the world. Damn you Norwegians for being your own dominant force and rejecting the Anglo ways!

Flying in, Norway wasn't at all what I expected either. From the air, after you pass the fjords, all you can see are rolling hills and dense forests. They are first speckled with lakes, then a few towns, then farmland, with nothing but wilderness in between. Not exactly what you'd think would be so close to a place the size of Oslo.

When I got settled, I didn't have any specific destinations in mind, so I just wandered out toward what looked like civilization, and of course ended up in a shopping district. In general, Oslo has kind of a Seattle vibe. No, not like Ballard! What I mean is that it seems pretty laid back, and while it's a densely populated city, it still feels small. And instead of Starbucks on every corner, there's an H&M store.

By the way, for those who think I exaggerate about the... erm... interesting nature of my mother, here's an unedited e-mail she sent the day before I left Seattle:

I just had a tour group from Norway and they said to tell Starbucks that people in Norway LOVE Starbucks but they don't have any stores in Norway. One woman said everyone asked her to bring Starbuck products back as souvenirs for them. Check it out when you are in Oslo.

Indeed. I did "tell Starbucks" and am now "checking out" the lack of stores here. Good thing I brought my own coffee... Anyway.

After avoiding temptation at several stores, I grabbed a few snacks and came back here for a break from the heat -- it's sunny and around 70 here, but with the low sun again, it's brutal for a pale girl like me to take for long. While in the little convenience store, a guy said something to me in (I assume) Norwegian, and motioned toward the counter. I thought he was telling me to go ahead, so I smiled and moved forward. He repeated whatever he'd said earlier, but angrily this time, so I told him that I was sorry, and I only spoke English. This seemed to piss him off even more. "English! Get it out faster! I need to know where is the fastest toilet! I have to go to the bathroom!" When I shrugged, he turned to the store clerk and yelled louder, "I need to know where is the fastest toilet!" The guy behind the counter shook his head, and the angry man stomped off, cursing everyone in two languages.

See? Crazy-crazy.

Meanwhile, men in cars keep slowing down and looking at me as they go by. It might have something to do with the dodgy area I'm staying in, along with the fact that my messenger bag has given me a noticeable purple hickie-like spot on my neck, in return for shlepping it from country to country. Regardless, I don't think I'll be staying out very late tonight, even though the sun won't go down until around 10:30. Don't worry about me, I might be mildly insane, but I'm not stupid.

It's a shame, because I only have the one night here and don't want to waste it. Maybe later I'll find some non-shady dinner and pick up a few gifts in the decent part of town. Off to Sweden tomorrow afternoon...