I'm not going to deny my Twitter addiction. I'm just not. But I will justify the service as a brilliant social laboratory where I can analyze the brief thoughts of friends, celebrities, and corporations, all in one go. Despite my current employment in technology, I am a sociologist by trade.
John Cusack -- who seems to be an insomniac based on his tendency to send constant tweets through normal sleep hours on frequent occasions -- peppered last night's Twitter activity with discussions of the Proust Questionnaire. Apparently it is so named because the writer Marcel Proust answered these questions repeatedly in different forms, and made them famous. It is now used in all sorts of pop culture venues, including an updated version featured monthly in Vanity Fair, which is where Cusack first took it.
I'm not really a Proust fan, but this seemed amusingly like a high-brow version of a MySpace survey, so I decided to give it a whirl. Here are my answers, using the version Proust supposedly took in the early 1890s.
What is your most marked characteristic?
Probably my constant drive for attention, but I suppose the need for people to look at you is sort of designed to be the characteristic others would most notice.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
This is difficult, because I spend almost all my time with men, and whether they're friends or... ahem... otherwise, I look for different qualities. In all men: I like them to be real, because I can't stand being around fake people. And they have to be funny, in a dry way. Ability to drink a lot also helps.
Oops, that was 3 qualities.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
I should just copy/paste the above. I have very few women friends, but I look for the same qualities in them.
What do you most value in your friends?
So many things, but top of the list would be that they stand by me no matter what kind of weird or stupid things I decide to do.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Inaction. I know what I want or need to do, but I just don't. Often it's stubbornness or rebellion, sometimes laziness, occasionally fear. Maybe I should change that... but it seems so difficult!
What is your favorite occupation?
I don't think it exists, but I want to get paid very well to travel, eat good food, drink the local booze, and to write. I know, you're thinking, be a travel writer! Or just a writer who travels anyway! But that doesn't pay well enough, and no one would publish my inane ramblings. Pipe. Dream.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
I've experienced perfect happiness a couple of times, and it always includes being ultra relaxed and comfortable, and my wildwoman brain quieting down. What that looks like beyond a moment, though, I haven't a clue.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Knowing what you want and not being able to have it.
Hence my recent bouts of whining at length, engaging in hermit behavior, and increasing consumption of alcohol and comfort food, resulting in a condition commonly known as fatty-fatty-fat-fat. But then I realize it's my own damn fault and I have no right to complain (see the inaction answer above), and I bounce back for a while.
In which country would you like to live?
I'd be happy to move back to Canada. London felt homey to me, so I could go to the UK. Or this country is fine, as long as I get the hell outta Dodge.
Who are your favorite writers?
Bill Bryson. Melissa Bank. Hubert Selby Jr. Carrie Fisher... Wishful Drinking continues to be the funniest book I've ever read.
Who are your favorite poets?
Poets... Poets? I haven't read any poetry since my fascinations with Walt Whitman and Allen Ginsberg in college. Which was a looooooong time ago.
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Rob Gordon from High Fidelity, Ryan Bingham in Up in the Air (but only the book. Clooney? Menh.)
Who is your favorite heroine of fiction?
Why did the men just come to me, but after several minutes of thought, I'm not thinking of any women? Maybe that's why I don't have a lot of female friends, I just don't like chicks.
I can think of a few I enjoy, but no favorites - Penny Lane from Almost Famous, Old Christine on the New Adventures of Old Christine, Mrs White in Clue.
Who are your favorite composers?
Brandi Carlile, Sarah Bettens, Elliott Smith, Simon and Garfunkel as a team... too many singer/songwriters to name.
Who are your favorite painters?
The only paintings I have in my home are done by people directly or indirectly in my social circle. My favorite painters are the ones I know and can relate to.
What are your favorite names?
They all seem to be male names that start with J.
What is it that you most dislike?
Being taken for a fool.
Which talent would you most like to have?
I don't want any new talents, but I want to be much better at the ones I have. Seems like I'm only mediocre at the things I love to do: singing, writing, cooking. I want to be great at them, but without the hard work to get better.
How would you like to die?
Very old, but not decrepit. And beloved.
What is your current state of mind?
I started finding this tedious quite some time ago.
What is your motto?
I don't have a motto. I don't even have a catch phrase. I just am what I am. Like Popeye. And Yahweh.
Gah, I'm glad that's finally over. Thanks, Proust. I'll never get those hours back.
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