Crazy Town

For someone who never traveled until a couple of years ago, I've gotten good at it. I'm a totally jaded flyer, and I have the routine pretty much down. It makes things go more smoothly, because I can execute the routine without having to think much about it. Unfortunately, not all the steps in the standard process are enjoyable.

I spend a lot of time getting stressed about everything that needs to be taken care of before I leave home, but at some point, I get it all done. A feeling of zen calm comes over me, a pure contentment which OCD people like me can only experience when we've crossed every To Do off the list, and then I can relax. I snuggle up with a cat, watch some TV, maybe drink a glass of wine. I might even sleep through the night. But sooner or later it hits me: The Oh Shit Moment.

As in Oh shit, I'm about to go halfway around the world to visit 5 countries where I don't speak any of the languages. I'll have no immediate connection home, and if things go pear-shaped, I've got no one to back me up.

That's where I am now. Welcome to Crazy Town.

The funny thing is, I need to go through this stage, much as I hate it, much as it's making me sleep-deprived and nauseated right now. Once it's over, I'll be ready to go have a great trip, stress-free, but I have to do this first. I recently read that if you tell a pessimist everything will be okay, don't worry about it, they tend to panic. If you let them freak out about every possible way things can go wrong, they get their contingency plans set, and then they're calm and have a positive outlook. Optimists work the opposite way. Evidently I've always been a pessimist.

Besides, I spent a lot of my childhood living in fear of what could happen, being shy, listening to my overprotective mother who saw danger in every shadow. Life sucks like that, so in order to live fearlessly, I have to do things that scare me a little bit. If I wasn't freaking out a little, what would be the point? Life's too short, so I do everything I want to do, even if it causes momentary panic. Like going halfway around the world to 5 countries where I don't speak the language, with no one to rely on but myself. And truly, I recommend it to everyone. There's nothing like the feeling of confidence and independence when you complete the adventure.

But now, I have to head to the airport in a couple hours, so it's back to Crazy Town for me. There's still so much left to do before I can relax and enjoy my vacation.

Next Stop, Iceland...