Anywhere but Here

I always manage to get sick right before I travel. If I don't, then I catch something on an airplane so I'm sick by the time I get back. I leave the continent in 5 days, so of course I'm home from work today with a virus of some sort. I tried to get up and go into the office, but that clearly wasn't happening, so I decided to work from home instead. Then I realized that I need to take a break. I get so stressed out trying to do a million things before I leave, that my immune system just flips me off. It's not like I'm all that healthy to begin with, and after a lazy weekend I'm still suffering. So instead of freaking out and trying to get work done, I have spent my day curled up on the couch with a cat or three.

That was a lot of backstory when I could've just said, "I've been home watching television all day, and...." Oh well. Nobody ever accused me of being a woman of few words.

Where was I? Oh yeah, trying to get to the point. Earlier I watched a rerun of The Fifth Estate wherein a Canadian guy made a comment about why he moved to New Zealand. It wasn't at all germane to the story being told, but it was the only part of the show that stuck with me. He said (I'm paraphrasing), "Sometimes a place just grabs you. You don't go looking for a place, you just get there and it grabs you for one reason or another."

His comment perfectly describes how I decide where I want to live, which seems like such an arbitrary process to everyone else. And it explains why I travel so much now. Seattle grabbed me long ago, and held on tight, but now it's more like a failing relationship. I'm not the same person I was back then; it's just not working anymore, and I know deep down that it's over. And even though I'm sticking around, trying to make the best of things, working to remember what I fell in love with all those years ago, I can't help but take a look at the other options. It's only a matter of time before I leave Seattle for one of them.

So I get on a plane, as often as possible. I shop around for other cities. Most of them do nothing for me, but occasionally something just works. London grabbed me. Chicago grabs me time and again. Most of them aren't realistic long-term, but it's still nice to have a fling, to feel at home for a while. Maybe Amsterdam will get its hooks in me this time. Or Malmo, Sweden. Maybe I'll just be happy to come back to Seattle's comfortable, familiar -- albeit dark and passive-aggressive -- embrace.

I just won't know until I get there. And that's the best part.