Linguistics Class

I've thought about it, and I'm pretty sure I figured out why Americans feel that Glaswegians hate them.

As I mentioned before, I seem to be better at deciphering accents than most of my American counterparts. I can tell a South African from an Australian from a Kiwi. Give me a Canadian, and I can give you a region that they likely came from. Any movie or television with a heavily accented speaker? No matter! My subtitles remain off.

But out here, in the real world, with fast-talkers and background noises, all my conversations were like this...

Glaswegian: Achnetashehootenachenetenoosebenashachenachen...?

My brain: Oh no, they're waiting for a reply. I could ask them to repeat, but I certainly won't understand the second time either. Based on the context I think I can make an estimation of what they said...

Me: Oh, that's okay, I don't want any apple juice [or something equally random]

Glaswegian: [Says nothing, walks away, often after giving me a look like I must be special needs]

My brain: This is EXACTLY why they hate Americans!

So, ultimately, what I've discovered is that all the stereotypes about Glasgow probably aren't true, but every negative assumption of Americans is, in many cases, correct. I've traveled the world, I've lived in two different countries, I don't look at a Kiwi and say, "Oh, are you English?" But still, I couldn't cope in Glasgow. Every lack of communication was totally my fault.

So maybe Glaswegians can be hard drinkers and hard hitters, but at the same time, Americans can be a bit arrogant and stupid.

So there you have it. For whatever it's worth.