Honolulu - Closure

As I sit at my hotel room desk, drinking coffee on my last morning in Honolulu, I can't help but reflect on how neutral I am about this place.

There's really nothing to dislike about it, once you get past the fact that it's one giant tourist trap. It's beautiful, tropical, and the locals working here are beyond hospitable. It would be a perfect vacation spot for a lot of people, and it clearly is for plenty; I'm just not one of them.

To be honest, the heat has gotten to me. The wind, ranging from a gentle breeze to gusts hard enough to blow my skirt well over my head, has been the only relief from the melt-your-makeup-off-your-face temperatures and humidity. Yesterday I saw a couple of gals effortlessly bouncing past me in jeans and sweaters, as I trudged down the blistering sidewalk, gulping bottled water and wiping the sweat from my face. I wanted to grab them by the shoulders and shout, "Where do you come from? The Sun? It's 87 degrees out here and I'm dying in shorts!"

The fact is, it's not you, Hawaii, it's me. I've never been one for water sports, and I won't go into the ocean above my ankles. "Laying out" is nothing but a ticket to the hospital with a 3rd degree sunburn. My idea of a beach vacation is sitting back in the shade of an umbrella or a palm tree, looking out over the ocean, and letting the world drift away. That simply isn't possible here. The beaches are too small, too crowded, too geared toward swimming and surfing. The few shaded areas are in the midst of hustle and bustle, or alongside the busy street, where you can barely see the water. It's just not what I'm looking for. I could experience heat and overpriced cities in the desert, much closer to home. I came here for the ocean, which I've barely seen.

If I ever decide to get back together with this far off state, I think I'll try a different island, maybe someplace off the beaten path. Or maybe I'll just spend the extra cash for a beach front hotel where I can use their patio to achieve my own ends.

All that being said, I've had a nice relaxing time. I spent enough time sitting out overlooking the canal with a book to get the calm I desired. I escaped the rain and drudgery of Seattle for my last weekend of summer. It was somewhere new, the beer was good. It was worth a 6 hour flight.

The World's Most Famous Beach

I finally went to see Waikiki Beach today. Menh.

The water is gorgeous and refreshing to wade in, but the beach itself is small, covered in sunbathers and hot, brown, grainy sand. There's no shade or seating, save for what's reserved for private use by hotels or purchased from sidewalk vendors on the way down. I didn't stay long.

As a whole, Waikiki is kind of awful. This neighborhood of Honolulu is the most visited by travelers to Hawaii, but it's not really my style. Its lovely pedestrian-friendly streets are lined with shop after shop trying to sell you overpriced crap, and always crawling with tourists.

The best part of my day so far was actually spent on the balcon... erm, lanai of my hotel room, with the view shown to the right. After the sun had moved to the other side of the building, I spent an hour or so sitting with my feet up on the railing, reading a book, a warm tropical wind nipping at the corners of every page.

If I can bear the heat, next I'll take a walk a bit farther out, visiting the parks and the nearby military reservation. As in all hot and humid climates, my skin is angrily pushing buckets of sweat through sunscreen, and I've taken to wearing a bikini under my clothes, instead of conventional undergarments. It's not the most comfortable of arrangements, to say the least, but it's a necessity.

I may be both too fast-paced and too pale-skinned Scandinavian for this Island, but it does have its charms. I just need to stop being distracted by all of the flaws.

An Unfamiliar Island

Apparently I need to relax. I move way too fast for Hawaii.

I've been here for approximately 4 hours, and haven't made it to the beach yet. After my delayed flight and 90 minutes of airport and shuttle madness to get here, all I wanted was a sandwich and a beer, but then I noticed that football was on. Watching the WSU Cougars get trounced by Oklahoma State was so riveting that I took brief nap.

Even after that and a couple of local micros, I still get the sense that I'm in way too much of a hurry.

Throughout my flight, I'd occasionally lift the window shade and take a glance at my surroundings; there was nothing to be seen but clouds and water, every time. I am unquestionably in a far away land. However, looking out at the scenery as the plane landed, the rolling hills and tracts of suburban housing were strangely familiar. It was like flying into...well, Idaho. When I got out of the airport, though, it was very clear how different this place really is. Aside from the palm trees and pit-stain inducing humidity, no one seems to have the ability to move above a speed of 0. They all want to stroll, and chat, and take their time. Even the wi-fi is painfully lackadaisical. I hate it. This one goes to 11!

That being said, I'm going to retire to my balcony (evidently they call it a lanai here, despite it being a standard hotel room balcony with a couple of plastic chairs), and ingest a couple of chill pills. Maybe it will help. Let's just hope I don't overdose and get so slow that I go back in time and erase my own existence...

Everywhere, but Still Here

I haven't written in a while. Where in the world has Girl 2 been?

Around. In Seattle. In Chelan for a weekend. Busy. But mostly, happy.

Recently I've found myself in a most enjoyable triumvirate. Not only did we all click immediately, and discover that we have a great time as a group, we all have the availability and similar schedules required to get together pretty much all the time. So that's where I've been -- out with my boys.

That's right. The photo has not been doctored. It's me, dancing at the Cuff, and drinking a Miller High Life. Fun works in mysterious ways.

However, turns out having a social life cuts into my online time quite a bit. Maybe this weekend when I leave town again, I'll finally catch up.

Which brings me to my next subject: turns out travel is now my thing. I realized a couple of years ago how much I loved gallivanting around, seeing different places and checking out what the world has to offer. I've even been willing to give up all my beloved shopping -- even for shoes -- in order to put every extra dime toward getting out of town.  And it has served me well.

In the past 12 months, I've spent every vacation day from work out of town. That has taken me to more than 20 cities in 10 different countries, including 5 US states. Before the end of 2010, I'll visit 3 more states, and fly thousands of additional miles.

Not only that, but I always have something to talk about at boring parties and family gatherings. It has become my go-to distraction when I'm bored with whatever else I should be doing. And I've turned into the expert, constantly on top of the cheapest ways to go without sacrificing comfort, and the source of travel tips among all my friends and relations.

While I always wanted to be here, I never thought I would be. But I'm glad that I am. Now, like Dolly Parton when she first became rich and famous, I feel like I should give back to those less fortunate. But how can I share this? Maybe I could... Wait, that reminds me: trip to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, needs to go on the list for this year.

Now what was I saying again? Nevermind, Virgin America is having a sale, gotta go. K-loveya-bye!

Stanwood

Every so often, it's nice to be the big fish in a small pond.


Earlier this week, Rio invited me to hang out with a work friend in her back country stomping ground of Arlington and Stanwood. I agreed, despite the fact that I'm certain I'll be eaten by bears if I ever leave my own area code, and decided to approach it as a new cultural experience, just like travelling abroad. We met at Nicole's place in Arlington, an hour north of Seattle, then took off to the Stanwood Hotel & Saloon for karaoke night.

I was a bit apprehensive when some of the locals said, "Awesome! Girls!" as we walked in, and others started eyeballing the table and discussing pickup lines the moment we sat down. I didn't really want to get hit on by the nice Northwestern Washington boys. However, once I got a couple of $5 microbrews in me, I relaxed and chatted with a few of the other singers at the bar.

And actually had a good time.

It turned out they were having a competition for that bar's entry into the Evergreen Idol singing competition. There were 11 finalists who had each won a previous week's contest, and were karaoke-ing their hearts out to get one of the saloon's 2 spots at the big Evergreen State Fair finals. Unfortunately, all three of our group were better singers than most of the competitors, so everyone (including the karaoke hostess) was really impressed and wanted to know where we came from. We were instantly declared the unofficial winners of the contest and lavished with attention.

One guy said I was the winner, even above my "sensational singer" friends, for being the prettiest and the best singer. That would only happen in the middle of nowhere. It's true that hotness is very much relative, and it's better that way. I'm enough of a narcissist as it is, I don't need the people around me encouraging my notion that I'm the most awesomest girl what ever lived on a regular basis.

But for one night, it was kind of nice. It was fun. I don't know if it's worth the hour drive each way to do it more often, but as new cultural experiences go, I'm glad I took the adventure. Once.

Niagara Falls

The trip to Niagara Falls today went much more smoothly than my drive yesterday, and would've been well worth the traffic, had it not.

I can only speak for the Canadian side, but I imagine the US version of Niagara is the same: one giant tourist trap. Everywhere I turned, someone was eager to relieve me of the burden of my cash. Just parking my car cost me an excessively long line-up and $16. But wow, the falls were amazing. The city of Niagara Falls, Ontario? I could've skipped it, but I was hungry, and there was a Tim Horton's. Anyway. The Falls.

Because of where I left my car, I got to walk from the top of the Falls around to an area overlooking the bottom. From the top you'd barely know a giant drop is coming. As you get closer, the rapids speed up, then the actual falls create so much mist that even far above them you get damp. Although, considering how hot it was today, I didn't really mind all the spritzing. Finally, at the bottom, the water becomes totally calm again, as if nothing had ever happened.

I may be biased, water-oriented human being that I am, but I thought it was pretty damn awesome. The photos can't do it justice, but I took a ton anyway. It just seemed necessary.

And no, I didn't see any newlyweds. I did see some Amish folks, though. Made me wonder how they got there. (Amish families not pictured)

Niagara-on-the-Lake

Apparently the awesomeness of the city had to be balanced out somehow, because today pretty much completely blows.

I left Toronto in a great mood, ready to drive out to the edge of Canada and see some effing natural wonders. Instead I spent my day as depicted at right. Notice the brakelights. And my safe following distance. Anyway.

My estimated-less-than-90-minutes drive did not quite go that way. Within minutes of starting down Queen Elizabeth Way (the highway I was to take all the way over), I was at a standstill. Around Burlington, they had a big LED sign reading QEW moving slow. Prepare to stop. Had I been in better spirits, I would have chuckled and snapped a picture, since I was stopped in view of it with plenty of time for photos. As it was, having been in traffic for over 2 hours and only getting 30 miles from Toronto, I shouted "Really?! Ya think?! You're FUCKING HILARIOUS!!" It was like that for the entire rest of the trip. All told, I drove for over 5 hours to get here.

In Seattle, I will drive far out of my way on side roads to avoid sitting in highway traffic. In unfamiliar towns, I don't have that option. Traffic is possibly the thing I hate most in the entire world.

My only sanity break was a brief stop off in a strip-mall town along an exit, where I made a burger and bathroom stop at Harvey's. No, HIMYM fans, I did not steal the tray. I'm not like that. Plus, the tray was blue, not orange. Who wants to collect that?

When I finally emerged from the QEW traffic nightmare, my Google directions misled me down a road through a couple of the various villages in Niagara-on-the-Lake. Evidently when they said turn right, then turn left, they meant follow the exit straight ahead for a minute, and it will take you directly into the hotel's parking lot. Oops. Anyway, my little detour wasn't so bad. It was pretty, and there was no traffic. So instead of immediately turning around, I drove for a few miles, seeing nothing but vineyards and farmhouses. I thought, "Fantastic! Wine! I love this place!"

Then I realized there really is nothing here but mile upon mile of wine grapes, with a few Bed and Breakfast inns hidden between. Seriously. I've never seen so many vineyards in one place. With nothing else around them. The few stores in this "town" closed at 5pm, shortly after I arrived. It sucks. I hate this place.

Niagara-on-the-Lake is not my cup of tea. Literally. I can't stand B&Bs or their bloody tea. Oh, am I cranky? All I can say is thank goodness there's a winery every 100 feet. Just as I was about to give up on this trip and run my rental car into the nearest tree, I spotted a tasting room still open at 6pm, at a winery called Pillitteri Estates. I popped in, and managed to pick up a lovely dry Cab-Merlot blend, and a wine key, on the cheap.

Yes, I am drinking it now. And lo, it is good. This day might just be salvageable.