Catching Up: Holiday Weekend in Amsterdam, Moco Museum

When the announcement came out in spring of 2024 that Robbie Williams was having his first art exhibition at the Moco museum in Amsterdam, my last few days of vacation for the rest of the year were already all committed to trips I didn't want to change, and the show's run was set to end before I'd get a new grant of time off. So I was faced with the good employee / devoted fanatic's classic conundrum: do I miss the thing and forever feel like a bad fan, take unpaid days off and lose money, or try to fit an entire trip to Amsterdam and back into the Memorial Day long weekend?

Of course I chose the holiday weekend option, resulting in my most unhinged travel plan to date.

I left on Friday night, and since I usually avoid the amateur travel times (ie holiday long weekends), I have never dealt with a more packed airport or longer security lines. They only had one pre-check line open at SeaTac, and it snaked all through the winding ropes and faaaaaaaaaar beyond, out through the hallway and down past two entire check-in sections. It couldn't have been less than 60 minutes wait, probably closer to 90. When I found the end of the line, there was a member of airport staff placed there to direct the bewildered into queue, so I asked if the first class lineup was shorter, and he pointed me to a premium checkpoint where I didn't get pre-check, but only had to wait about 15 minutes. But even that felt like an inordinate amount of hassle, so the whole experience made me immediately sign up for Clear to jump all security lines in the future, and vow to never fly on a holiday weekend again.

I might be a bit of a spoiled traveller. Shrug, not sorry.

To try to make the trip slightly less tiring, I took a direct flight that arrived in rainy Amsterdam early Saturday afternoon, and went straight to standing in more long lines at passport control. Which is where I was able to confirm that the A Black Lady Sketch Show character who is the world's greatest spy, staying completely invisible by just being a regular-looking woman, is 100% possible.

The passport area of Schipol that they herded us into had no electronic gates, just two booths where everyone in the giant queue had to speak to a person. As I got close to the front, I could see that they were asking every non-Dutch citizen for a whole bunch of details about their stay, requiring them to show a return ticket and hotel confirmation. Which was taking FOREVER as person after person approached the desk looking completely befuddled by the need to have all their travel documents organized and available to show. So, pro jetsetter that I am, when I got up to the desk and handed him my passport, I was ready with all my booking apps open in my phone, as well as my museum ticket, because what could spur more suspicion than going to the other side of the world for barely 48 hours? 

The border guy who'd asked every other person ahead of me no less than 28 questions, quickly scanned my passport and disinterestedly asked where I was going. 

"Well, I'm going to the Moco Museum..."

"I mean, are you in transit to somewhere?"

"No, just here for two days and back home."

[Stamping and handing back the passport] "Have a nice day."

So yeah, sometimes it's beneficial to be an invisible regular-looking middle-aged woman.

Anyway. My museum ticket was for Sunday -- my only full day in Amsterdam -- so getting there was my one goal for the day. The museum itself is pretty small, and I'm never that stand and stare at the art for an hour person regardless, so my visit was relatively quick. There wasn't a lot in Rob's section that he hadn't already posted online, but it was cool to see it at full scale on the walls, and take part in the overall experience they'd created around the show.

The museum has a lot of other Modern & Contemporary art (MoCo, get it?), so I walked through the whole place and loved it. Except the small room of Warhols packed wall to wall with people... I rolled my eyes and walked away from that one, but I did spend a minute nerding out in front of the Basquiats. I also spent WAY too much in the gift shop on Williams, Basquiat, and Banksy swag that you can't get anywhere else (however much you think I spent, double it and you'll be closer), and left very satisfied.

With rain non-stop during my brief visit, and really just one reason for going anyway, all I had the time and desire to do was see the museum and go for a couple walks when it wasn't too damp out. Amsterdam is one of those places that has always felt relaxing and homey to me, so I don't much feel like tourist-ing when I go there, anyway.

I then spent all day Monday getting the long-haul flight home, and was back at work Tuesday morning, exhausted, the weekend a blur.

But still, I'm glad I went. All the sleep deprivation and travel crowd chaos was worth it in this case, but would I ever do it again? 

I mean... yeah, if I had a reason. A good fan's work is never done...

Catching Up: Tina and Amy Live in Portland

Once upon a time... well... once upon late 2023, my friend Steve learned that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler were taking a comedy show (the Restless Leg Tour) on the road, and as the good fans that we are, we had to go! But at that point, they were only stopping in a few cities, and Seattle wasn't one of them... but Portland was. So we excitedly got our tickets and planned a quick road trip.

 

But when the show weekend in mid-January 2024 rolled around, the weather had other ideas, with ice, heavy snow, and high winds predicted. Of course that wasn't going to deter us from seeing our favourite funny folk, but we did decide it probably wouldn't be safe to drive and took the train instead, arriving for the show Friday afternoon in very cold winds, but nary a snowflake to be seen.

After settling in at the hotel (and having dinner with plenty of wine), we walked the couple blocks over to the show, which was at the Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall.* When I grew up near Portland, everyone called it The Schnitz, and I don't know if anyone still uses that nickname, but I like it -- it sounds like a cross between a schnitzel and a snitch -- so I'm sticking with it.

When we arrived at the Schnitz, they informed us of the rules for the performance, which specified that phones had to be completely turned off, and no heckling would be allowed. I've been to a number of these kind of comedy tours over the years, and they all have the anti-phone policy. I get it, if you're a big-name comic, you don't want your bits leaked online before you can officially release them in your TV special. But heckling? I've never witnessed a heckler even once in all the gigs I've seen. So why call that out?  

Later on, I realized why. There was an improv section where the crowd was asked to shout out suggestions... and then they kept shouting things, unsolicited, for the rest of the show. Evidently, once people get permission to yell at the performers, they don't think they have to stop. I know this makes me sound like I'm 185 years old, but... Does no one know how to behave in public anymore? 

Also, maybe 5-10 minutes before showtime, I glanced at my phone (still on, because we were 5-10 minutes before starting, but locked because I was just checking the time) and some usher-type guy leaned over and menacingly said, "TURN YOUR PHONE OFF. I WILL kick you out!" I was so shocked by the outsized reaction to me looking at a clock for 1.3 seconds that my only response was to give him a WTF! Roid-rage much? face while I hit the power button. Steve's reaction to the guy's rudeness was a bit stronger, so luckily Mr Phone Cop walked away before my protective friend had a chance to chew him out (and probably get us removed from our seats).

Anyway. The show was fantastic, super funny, including Zarna Garg's opening set. Tina and Amy told stories, did both planned skits and improv, tried their hands at separate stand-up sets, read the 'news', even answered audience questions, and it was all hilarious. But even as great as it all was, Maya Rudolph's guest appearance (as the ghost of Whitney Houston) stole the show. I was laughing through the entire performance, but Maya's Whitney was almost painful, it was so funny. I guess different cities got different guests, but I feel pretty certain that ours was the best. 

Afterward, we went back to our hotel and hung out drinking more wine in the lobby bar, where we chatted with the other guests, laughed about the show, and Steve occasionally exclaimed, "I got to see Minnie Riperton's daughter!" 

Which is not a weird thing to say... for him.

The next morning we woke up for our late morning train home, to find ourselves surrounded by nonstop snow, freezing temperatures, high winds, and Amtrak extremely delayed. After waiting around the hotel for a while, we headed down the road to the station to wait there and cross our fingers that the train would leave before too long. That few blocks was the only bad part of the trip, with icy feet in the snow, wind gusts nearly knocking us over, frozen snowflakes stinging our faces, and Steve's poor service dog so badly sliding and blowing around the sidewalk that he couldn't do his primary job of (much needed in that weather) stability support.

We finally got on the train around 2pm (the time it was originally supposed to get us home), and arrived over 4 hours late, to no sign of a winter storm up in our 'hood.

Two weeks later, Tina & Amy announced their tour was coming to Seattle. Because of course.

*Interesting (or not so much?) side note about this particular theatre: despite growing up in the area, the Tina and Amy show was only my third occasion to go to the Schnitz. One was when I performed there -- I don't remember why my dance group had this gig -- and the other was seeing Sinéad O'Connor in 1990, when my friends and I were in the actual very last row, with nothing but a wall behind our seats. So after the extremes of being on stage, and as far from the stage as possible, this was my first normal, floor seat visit.